Trust is one of the most important factors in a strong and healthy relationship. However, you may have noticed a couple of red flags from your partner or spouse that could suggest they are unfaithful.
In a perfect world, finding out about an affair is as simple as confronting them directly about it. However, it’s easy for your partner to deny having an affair, especially if you don’t have solid evidence to back your suspicions.
There are plenty of ways to spot signs your spouse is having an affair. However, not all are legal and can get you in trouble with federal and South Carolina privacy laws. Here are some legal ways to spot signs of an affair without risking any legal repercussions.
What Is an Affair?
An affair is a romantic or sexual relationship that occurs outside of a marriage or partnership without the consent or knowledge of the other partner. Affairs typically involve secrecy, deception, and betrayal of trust as they go against the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship.
The definition of an affair can vary between couples as affairs can take various forms, including:
- Physical Affair: Engaging in sexual activity with someone other than the partner.
- Emotional Affair: Forming an intimate emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, even if physical sexual activity hasn’t occurred.
- Cyber Affair: Online interactions or relationships, such as talking to someone on social media in a romantic way, paying for sexual content, going on dating apps, or browsing pornographic content.
How To Spot Signs of an Affair
If you’re suspicious about your partner’s fidelity and want to find signs your spouse is having an affair, it’s important to be smart about it. Even if you’re married or in a long-term relationship, they still have certain privacy rights you could violate. Here are some ways you can legally check for signs of cheating and unfaithfulness.
1. Check Their Messages
If you can access your partner’s phone, by the way of them giving you a passcode at one time in the past or letting you use their phone, then you can browse their text apps and messages to see who they’re talking to. Never install trackers or spyware on their phone (even if you’re paying for it), as tracking activity on their personal property without their consent is illegal. Here are some tips to help you do a thorough and legal search:
- Check Their Call Logs: Check if there’s someone they’re constantly calling. This could be a number they frequently call that isn’t listed in their contacts, or someone you might suspect could be their affair partner.
- Check Suspicious Messages: Look for threads from someone listed as “Pizza delivery guy” or “Spam.” Your partner might change their affair partner’s name to avoid suspicion when you look at their lock screen.
In some cases, you might not find signs of cheating because they might have a burner phone to keep their main phone clean. If you suspect they have a burner phone, check possible hiding spots around your home or car. It’s likely somewhere where they spent plenty of time.
2. Open Their Trash Folder
Check the trash folder if you have a shared cloud service or access to their drive, phone, or computer. Many cheaters delete compromising photos, files, and other information, but some forget that many devices keep deleted data indefinitely or for up to 30 days. You might find signs of an affair in their deleted files.
3. Check Their Browser History
If you suspect your partner of a cyber affair, check their browser history. Look out for:
- Browsing history to websites such as Ashley Madison, OnlyFans, or pornographic websites.
- Saved login credentials for alternate emails or social media accounts.
- Regularly deleted browsing history, which could suggest they’re trying to hide their browsing activities.
4. Look for Odd Credit Card Charges and Finances
If you have joint finances, you can find evidence of an affair in your statements or credit card bills. Opening statements and bills that aren’t addressed to you is illegal. However, it’s fair game if they leave their statements out in the open. Look out for:
- Suspicious Charges: Look for unidentified hotel charges, expensive questionable purchases, and frequent cash withdrawals. If they claim to be alone on a business trip, look at any restaurant charges they’ve made and see if the bill is reasonable for one person.
- Date and Time: Try to remember dates when your partner was mysteriously or unusually absent. For example, you might find a hotel charge on a day when they claimed to do overtime for work.
- New Credit Card: Some cheating spouses open new credit cards without their partner’s knowledge to avoid questionable charges appearing on joint statements. If you find a statement for another credit card, it could show questionable purchases.
5. Check for Suspicious Social Media Activity
Social media can be a goldmine of clues if you think your partner is unfaithful. If you have access to their phone, you can check social media private conversations for signs your girlfriend is cheating. Additionally, look out for:
- Observe Their Behavior: It might be a red flag if they suddenly become more secretive about their social media accounts, are overly protective of their phone, or log out of their account when you’re nearby.
- Online Content: While some people are just private on social media, your partner may start untagging themselves in family photos and deleting photos of you on their profile.
6. Catch Them in a Lie
The problem with many cheaters is that they have to make many lies to protect themselves. When someone is hiding something, it’s easy for their story to fall apart under scrutiny. If your partner is cheating, they may start telling little lies that don’t make sense.
One way to test this is by asking innocent questions about their day or plans. If their answers seem inconsistent or they struggle to keep details straight, this could be a sign that they’re covering something up. Try not to be too accusatory; it could cause unnecessary conflict before you have the facts.
7. Check Their Wardrobe and Laundry
Subtle changes in your partner’s wardrobe or laundry habits can be telling signs. If they’re dressing up more than usual without explanation or wearing clothes you haven’t seen before, it could be worth a closer look.
Pay attention to the laundry as well. Are there unfamiliar scents on their clothes, or are they suddenly more protective of their dirty laundry? While these signs alone don’t confirm cheating, they can be small clues that add up over time.
8. Check Their Car or Phone’s GPS
Cheaters tend to have affairs in remote locations or other areas where the risk of bumping into someone they know is low. Chances are, they’ve used GPS while traveling. Check their GPS history to see if you can access their car’s GPS console or phone apps such as Maps, Google Maps, or Waze. It might show evidence of them going to an affair partner’s house, a hotel, or another potential meet-up location.
9. Make a Surprise Visit at Work
Many cheaters use overtime at work as an excuse for being out longer than usual. One common way of getting physical signs your husband is cheating is to go to their workplace and surprise them. You could say you’re there to bring them food, or if their workplace is near a gym or a friend’s location, you could say you were in the area and wanted to drop by.
10. Talk To Their Friends
Many unfaithful partners claim to be with a friend when they’re really out with someone else. If it’s a mutual friend you trust, you may ask if your partner was with them.
Alternatively, you could avoid awkward conversations about your partner’s infidelity by asking them questions that could confirm they were with your partner. For example, instead of saying that you’re looking for signs your husband is cheating, ask them about how their night out with your husband went. If it’s obvious they don’t know what you’re talking about, it raises suspicion about your partner’s whereabouts.
11. Hire a Private Investigator
If you’ve tried all other methods and haven’t found undeniable signs your spouse is having an affair, you might be interested in following your partner to see where they go. However, it’s not recommended you follow them yourself, as you could be charged with stalking and harassment. In this case, it might be time to call in the help of a professional private investigator. Private investigators, along with law enforcement, are exempt from stalking / harassment in the state statute as long as they are under contract to work that case. Private investigators are regulated in South Carolina by the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division (SLED) which gives them certain privileges the average citizen does not..
Hiring a private investigator can give you peace of mind by helping you uncover the truth while staying within legal boundaries. Private investigators are trained to gather evidence discreetly and legally, so you won’t have to worry about crossing any lines. They can conduct surveillance, perform background checks, use GPS tracking on your spouse and even help you sort digital evidence while maintaining confidentiality.
Once you have enough reason to believe your spouse is cheating it’s a good time to hire an investigator to gather the evidence in a way the courts and attorneys need to win in court. Courts need very specific things so adultery can be proved as well as everything legally obtained.
I Caught My Spouse Having an Affair. Now What?
If you’ve found undeniable evidence of an affair, the next steps you take are ultimately up to you.
It can be difficult, but some marriages have recovered from infidelity. This will require time for healing and marriage counseling sessions to discuss what went wrong. In time, you may be able to reconcile and rebuild your trust.
On the other hand, cheating can be grounds for divorce. Evidence of their affair can impact your proceedings since South Carolina is an at-fault state that practices equitable distribution. Your divorce lawyer can walk you through the next steps. If you have decided you are leaving your spouse we would recommend talking to an attorney and private investigator before revealing anything to your spouse.
Discreet, Secure, and Thorough Investigations with Bulldog PI
Discovering infidelity from your partner can be painful, but you need to approach this legally and carefully. Protect yourself by gathering the necessary evidence without crossing ethical or legal boundaries.
If you suspect your partner is unfaithful and need professional assistance, Bulldog PI is here to help spouses in South Carolina. We provide personalized quality investigative services to help ease your fears and doubts.
Contact Bulldog PI today for inquiries or to schedule your free consultation.
