“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s hard not to get swept away by the romantic idea of having a secret love affair with a married man. The thrill of being wanted by someone who is already taken, and the excitement of the forbidden fruit can be intoxicating. However, as tempting as it may seem, becoming the third wheel in a marriage is never a wise choice. Let’s explore the reasons why it is best to avoid being “the other woman” in a relationship, no matter how in love you may be.


The primary reason to avoid such a relationship is the constant guilt that you’ll feel. Being in a relationship with a married man means you are responsible for the emotional pain of the other woman, and it’s not a feeling that fades. You’ll feel guilty every time you see him with his family, every time you hear her voice on the phone and every time you realize the true implications of your situation.

You Miss Out on Available Men Who Could Make You Happy:

By staying with a married man, you are missing out on the opportunity to meet an available man that might make you happy. Being with a married man will lower your expectations; you might begin seeing anyone just for the sake of being with someone; you might begin settling for less or the wrong person, and in the end, the cost might be too high.

Constant Fear of Losing Him:

Another reason to avoid such relationships is that you’ll always live in fear of losing him. You’ll never be sure of his commitment to you. You’ll always run the risk of him choosing his wife and his family over you.

He’ll Eventually Betray You Also:

You should also keep in mind that if he can deceive his wife, he can also deceive you. Having an affair does not necessarily mean he is in love with you. Most married men see their affairs as a pleasure stop-gap. There is always a high chance that you’ll be replaced eventually when someone else catches his fancy, leaving you heartbroken and alone.

Constant Emotional Stress:

Being part of an affair will take an emotional toll on you; you may experience feelings of sadness, depression and frustration which could be detrimental to your health. You’ll have to keep secrets, lie to others and have a physical relationship with someone who might never genuinely reciprocate your true feelings.

Anger and Resentment:

It’s normal for you to begin feeling anger and resentment towards your married lover if the affair lasts for long. You’ll begin developing mistrust in men and relationships and eventually become bitter and full of regrets.

Social Stigma:

In addition to the emotional toll, there is also the social stigma that comes with being in such a relationship. You’ll feel ashamed when you go out in public and always hide at home. You’ll also worry about being judged by others if they find out.

Feeling Lonely When He’s with His Wife:

Probably, the hardest challenge of being “the other woman” is feeling lonely whenever your married lover is spending time with his wife and family. It’s not a feeling that should be a norm in a relationship; you deserve to be with someone who makes you his priority and spends time with you alone.

Being Manipulated:

Lastly, it’s essential to know that you might be being manipulated by your married partner. They could drag the relationship along to keep you in a position of dependence, prevent you from backing out, keep getting their desired satisfaction or take advantage of your emotions.

It’s highly unlikely to find lasting true love in the form of an affair with a married man; it’s something that can get overwhelming and can eventually lead to heartbreak. Walking away from relationships like this is the wisest decision you can make. You deserve to be with someone who is genuinely available and willing to meet you halfway. It’s never too late to walk away from the relationship and start again, and remember, you deserve better.