“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Men and women view cheating very differently and can disagree about what constitutes cheating. To clear up the matter (or not), let’s hear how some of the experts weigh in on what cheating is or isn’t.

Divorce Lawyer

To a divorce lawyer, two main things count. First is the alienation of affection without the partner’s consent and second is spending money without the partner’s consent. In general, the litmus test is if you are spending emotional time with someone else at the expense of quality time with your partner, and your partner is upset about the lack of quality time, it fits the definition of cheating.

Relationship Coach

For a relationship coach, the parameters have to be defined by the people in the relationship. Therefore the answer is different for every relationship because every relationship is unique and the people in the relationship are unique. The people in the relationship need to come to an agreement on what constitutes cheating for their specific relationship.

Relationship Counselor

For the relationship counselor, the litmus test is if it is secret or not. If you share your activities openly with your partner and they are okay with it, it is less likely to be defined as cheating. However, if you are keeping your actions secret from your partner and know or fear they would be upset by your actions or activities, then it is more likely to be considered cheating.


For the psychologist, an act involving a third party that violates the boundaries or standards of the relationship would likely be considered cheating. More directly, if one romantic partner decides to become involved with a third party motivated by a real or perceived lack or limitation in the romantic relationship, this is cheating. Seeking to meet your desires or needs outside the relationship would be cheating – whether those needs and desires are physical or emotional.

That’s how the experts weigh in. What do you think? If you feel your partner might be unfaithful and you need the truth, call Bulldog PI. We’ll get you the answers you deserve.