“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

When you find out that your partner has cheated, it’s normal to feel a mix of conflicting emotions. It can take some time to sort out all of those emotions and process the situation, especially if the cheating is on-going. You have a lot of decisions to make about your partner and your relationship, whether you’re married or not. So, you just found out your partner cheated. Now what?

1. Choose safety – If there was an argument, make sure you are someplace safe. You don’t want conflict to continue to escalate and result in a domestic incident or other situation that endangers your safety. Make sure you have a safe place to stay while you resolve or process the situation with your partner.

2. Avoid rash decisions – Making decisions from a place of hurt and anger is never a good idea. Wait until you are calm and clear-minded before making any big decisions about your relationship. This is especially true if there are children involved. You want to be level-headed when making decisions that can affect them as well.

3. Avoid revenge or escalation – Avoid escalating the situation if there has been arguing or fighting, for your safety. But also, avoid the urge to seek revenge. Think forward to a few months from now and consider what damage can and can’t be undone. Plus, seeking revenge often creates escalation.

4. Don’t make assumptions – When you catch your partner cheating, it’s natural to make quite a few assumptions about your partner, your relationship, their motivation and even assumptions about yourself and your worth. Don’t assume anything. Seek the truth from your partner and remember that what they tell you could only be the tip of the iceberg if they are trying to spare your feelings.

5. Truly consider what your partner says – Are they truly sorry for the infidelity or are they just sorry they got caught? Do they even want to try to save the relationship? Are they blaming you, even subtly? Examine what your partner says with particular focus on truthfulness and remorse.

6. Open all accounts – If your partner wants to save your relationship, they need to prove the cheating is over. The only way they can truly do this is by giving up the passwords to all accounts and being open and honest with their phone, email and other forms of communication. If they won’t show you, consider that as evidence the cheating behavior is likely not over.

7. Consider leaving – If your partner continues to cheat or continues to display suspicious behavior, consider whether it’s time to exit the relationship. No one deserves to be cheated on and no one should continue in a relationship with a partner that continues to cheat.

If you suspect your partner is cheating but need help finding the truth, call Bulldog PI. We can help you get the truth you deserve. If you’ve already caught your partner cheating and have been wondering, “Now what…” we hope the tips above help you keep a clear head and protect your heart.